Let’s be real—chocolates and flowers are nice any time of the day or night, but when it comes to romancing nurses, there are some clear ways to their hearts. If you’re looking at enticing a nurse in your life this year for Valentine’s Day, or if you’re a nurse wondering if anyone truly understands the desires of your heart, let us just be the ones to say:
We know what really turns you on.
And we’re willing to bet it looks a little something like this…
1. Lines and tubes that don’t tangle.
You might dream of getting tangled up with a sexy nurse this Valentine’s Day, but what really revs your nurse’s engine is walking into a room filled with lines that are totally tangle-free…and stay that way. Oh yeah.
2. A true day off.
And no, we don’t mean a day off from working, although that’s equally as great. If you’re Emily , a 34-year-old outpatient surgical nurse, what you’re really lusting over is going on a date or attending a family function that doesn’t include the following phrase or words: “So, these are my symptoms and this is what my doctor said or prescribed, but I wanted to get your opinion before proceeding…”
3. Not taking care of anyone else for a whole damn day.
Nurses are caretakers in every sense of the word. So, if you want to take care of a nurse, give him or her the whole damn day or night off from any caretaking whatsoever.
For instance, Alicia, a 33-year-old ICU nurse dreams of a “care-free quiet” night that maybe includes the sexy trifecta of dinner, a movie, and a massage, with the ever-important being able to stay awake for it all, of course. Although, actually now that we’re thinking about it, maybe the sleeping part would be the sexiest part of all…
4. Massages that don’t start with the word “perineal.”
Shout-out to all the OB nurses in the house, although you could pretty much be any specialty to appreciate a good (non-perineal) massage. A massage that definitely includes a foot rub is what most nurses, including Danielle, a 26-year-old Pediatric Float Pool Nurse, are hoping are in store for them on the most loved-up day of the year.
5. A dressing change that doesn’t get immediately ruined by a doctor.
Oh, you just finished that elaborate dressing change, complete with wound packing and now that doctor is requesting you destroy all of your hard work with a second glance back? Not today, because it’s Valentine’s Day and all your dreams are coming true!
6. Just once, looking cool as a new nurse putting on gloves.
Need I say more? Ugh.
7. To ask, “OMG, what’s that smell?” and have a different answer than you were expecting.
Surprise! It’s not C-diff! It’s a flower delivery from that special someone!! (Bonus: you can take this smell home with you and it won’t haunt your dreams!)
8. To go on a date with someone who really appreciates us.
If you can’t handle me at my demonstrated wound care on a roll, you definitely can’t handle me at my post-night-shift covered-in-puke best.
9. A shift when all your patients ask for what they want while you’re still in the room.
Would you even know what to do with yourself if all your patients didn’t automatically hit the call light two seconds after you just left their room and assured you that they didn’t need anything else? Literally better than any box of chocolates you could ever get, am I right?
10. A simple “thank you.” Seriously.
For all the times that you ran around like a chicken with your head cut off, got emotionally and mentally abused by doctors, staff, and family, put out 10,000 burning fires and saved lives, but still remembered that your patient in bed 10A wanted a warm blanket and you actually did it, you deserve a freaking thank you.
And honestly? All it takes is that one patient saying a simple “thank you” to give you the strength to keep going. Because you are one sexy as hell nurse and today, of all days, we appreciate you.