Funny Quotes

I am collecting all kinds of funny quotes of what nurses are saying and doing.

Smart humour is one that doesn’t offend but raises awareness.

I once had a patient transferred to theatre with a long list of allergies. What
got us laughing was that the documented reaction was written down by the
admitting nurse as “analfactic.”

Be nice to me; I dispence the Happy Pills !!

You may occasionally see us laughing, or even take note of some jest.
Know that we are giving your loved one our care at its very best.
There are times when the tension is highest.
There are times when our systems are stressed.
We’ve discovered humor as a factor in keeping our sanity blessed.
So, if you’re a patient in waiting, or a relative, or a friend of one seeing,
Don’t hold our smiling against us; it’s the way we keep from screaming.

How do you know someone is a G.O.M.E.R.? (Get Out of My Emergency Room)
1. Old charts weigh more than 5 pound.
2. Ties foley catheter into pyjama strings.
3. Has seizure and never drops his cigarette.
4. Asks for a cigarette during pulmonary function test.
5. BUN is higher than I.Q.
6. PO2 is less than respiratory rate.

The Gynecologist is the only man who can’t live without women.

In the centre of a very busy city a man asks a nurse: “Can you tell me the fastest way to the hospital?” “Yes”, says the nurse, “close your eyes and cross this street….”

A new nurse listened while the doctor was yelling, “Typhoid! Tetanus! Measles!”
The new nurse asked another nurse, “Why is he doing that?”
The other nurse replied, “Oh, he just likes to call the shots around here.”

Know you know how Hurricane Irma was made

So, this is what basically is a life of a Nurse. Boring in an Amusing wayAnnoying in an Interesting wayStressful in a comical Way!

A colleague of mine was taking a gentleman a blood pressure after he had fainted, he came too and asked if he would be able to play the piano, my colleague told the man that he would.
He replied with a wink. “That’s great. Because I couldn’t when l came in.”
My friend was so embarrassed, but I just said ‘He gotcha!!’.

If you have any more funny quotes, please humour me by leaving a comment !!